Movie review: Kaash... Mere Hote

[soniya]

Kaash…Mere Hote - Kaash yeh picture bani na hoti!


Cast: Sneha Ullal, Sanna Mirza, Kumar Sahil, Johny Lever, Rajesh Khanna


Director: B H Tharun Kumar

Rating: 0 .5/5

It's a good thing they haven't spent too much on the film's promotion. There are some films that have blockbusters written all over it while some others like this one have mega flop written all over it. You look at it and know it is a terrible film.

When you see it, you realize it’s not just a terrible film but one of the worst movies ever made.

Krish (Kumar Sahil) and Radhika (Sneha Ullal) are a couple. Krish has to go to Mauritius on an assignment. He becomes a tenant at Colonel Patra’s (Rajesh Khanna) place. Rajesh is blind. He has a naughty daughter with hyper active hormones: Piya (Sanna Mirza).

Piya falls in love with Krish and her obsession becomes a pain in the **** for everyone in the audience.

First of all, Kumar Sahil cannot act. He has the same blank ex-pression on his face. He needs to hit the gym before he can come in front of the camera. Sneha looks like a bad version of Aishwarya Rai and her dialogue delivery lacks zest and energy. She is forever bored and annoyed. We should feel grateful that blond haired Rajesh Khanna is not slithering his lips over anyone busty bimbo. Sanna Mirza is very ordinary looking and dresses like a tart. She also has supernatural powers which she uses to **** people who come in the way of her obsession. She is scary – and not in a good way! The scene where she scares a dog is ridiculous. Johnny Lever is wasted as a crazed Aishwarya Rai fan. He pops up out of nowhere with hideous make-up and a bright Chunni and breaks into Ash's songs. Also, Sneha is ready to stay in Mauritius with Kumar but she won't kiss him.

The scenes have no connection whatsoever. The dialogues are tacky. One guy says ‘Mujhe sirf paiso ke figure mein dilchaspi hai, doosre figure main nahi.’ And Sneha says, ‘Haseen Mauritius ko dekhna, Mauritius ki haseenao ko nahi.’

Things are not even spelt correctly. St. Mary's Asylum becomes St. Marry's Aslyum. Songs like Pump It by the Black Eyed Peas, the tune of Nelly Furtado's Powerless and Rihanna's Unfaithful have been used with abandon. I wonder about the copyrights. A terrible song pops up every 5 minutes. The background score is jarring and doesn't suit the mood at all. The locales of Mauritius are the only saving grace.

Usually, guys fight in the climax but here the so-called hero goes hand-to-hand with the obsessive female lover. They bash up each other. The other scene where these goons harass Sneha and Kumar comes to help is so outdated. In fact the entire film is outdated, tacky, regressive and silly. Some movies are ok to be seen on TV if you have nothing to do. Kaash… Mere Hote doesn't merit a single watch in your lifetime.

Get bored to death doing anything else but don't watch this flick which kick-starts the Worst Movies of 2009 list.