Top 10 Dangerous Doctors in Fiction

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There are plenty of fantastic fictional doctors. Whether it’s the cantankerous, but brilliant Dr. Gregory House on House or the inexplicably “McDreamy” Dr. Derek Shepherd on Gray’s Anatomy, there are plenty of top-notch made-up medical professionals ready to take the best pretend care of their imaginary patients. But not every fictional doctor is a selfless super-healer. A lot of them are dangerously under qualified, psychotic, or just plain nasty. Here’s a list of the top ten worst fictional doctors:


10. Dr. Giggles (Dr. Giggles)

When you hear a name like Dr. Giggles, you’d be forgiven for conjuring up an image of a lovable old doctor who uses humor to ease his patients’ suffering- a Patch Adams type who dispenses chuckles along with medicine. Unfortunately for anyone who books an appointment with the good Dr. Giggles, the only thing being dispensed is ******! Gory, gory ******. Although not an actual MD himself, Dr. Giggles feels most at home dressed up in scrubs and a mask. The son of a psychotic doctor, he escapes a mental institution to wreak medical-themed revenge on the townspeople who shut down his old man’s chop shop years before. Armed with needles, scalpels, and in one particularly nasty consult, a tongue depressor, Giggles cures several ***y young teens (it is a slasher movie after all) of the most common disease of all, life. With his disturbing giggle and stabbing-based approach to healthcare, Dr. Giggles is definitely a fictional doctor to avoid.

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9. Dr. Doom (The Fantastic Four)

More of a scientist than a medical doctor, Victor Von Doom is still not the guy you want to be in charge of managing your care. A power-hungry megalomaniac, Doom spends his time cooking up evil schemes, hurting the innocent and generally being the best supervillain he can be. Show up at his castle looking for a little TLC and you’re likely to end up as either a pawn in some world-conquering masterplan, or at the very least on the wrong end of some unholy experiment.

Even if he wasn’t an inherently evil madman, one look at his iron mask should be enough to make even the most desperate sick person go back to the Yellow Pages. Worn to hide hideous scars he sustained in an experiment gone awry, the mask is proof positive that this guy doesn’t have the first clue about medicine. Are you telling us that a supergenius inventor, with degrees in just about every field there is, can come up with nothing better than a dirty old metal mask to hide his scars? Going to see Dr. Doom would be like going to see a barber with a bad haircut. Dumb.

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8. Dr. Zoidberg (Futurama)

The resident sawbones for the folks on Futurama, Dr. John A. Zoidberg is a complicated character. On the one hand, he’s a human-sized lizard from the year 3000, which is pretty cool. One the other hand – the doctoring hand- he’s the worst doctor in the history of medicine. And that includes the guys who used to use leeches to cure everything. Lacking even the most rudimentary understanding of human anatomy, Zoidberg has difficulty telling men and women apart, has no idea what any of the major organs do, and frequently leaves his patients ten times worse than he finds them.

Even outside the office, Zoidberg’s a terrible doctor. He’s incredibly poor, eats out of garbage cans, and is frequently the target for all manner of physical and emotional abuse. When he does put someone under the knife, he generally butchers them. Every once in a while he pulls off a successful head transplant, but for the most part he’s just a lobster in a lab coat. Except a lobster in a lab coat would probably make a more accurate diagnosis. Or at the very least, a more delicious meal.

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7. Dr. Christian Szell (Marathon Man)

It can’t be fun being a dentist. Everybody hates you, even if you’re great. No matter how awesome your dental s****s are, how can anyone truly like a person who makes their living drilling into people’s teeth? It’s a thankless job, but luckily for our sugar saturated mouths, several fine men and women heed the call and help us undo the damage we do every day to our chompers.

And then there are dentists like Dr. Christian Szell. Not only is he a dentist, he’s a Nazi Concentration Camp dentist. Those are totally the worst kind! In Marathon Man, Szell (as played by Lawrence Olivier) terrorizes and tortures Dustin Hoffman with the tools of his trade to make sure it’s safe to get his stolen diamonds. He’s a dentist, so just a regular check up would have been enough to get the toughest nut to crack. But since he’s a Nazi dentist, he drills into Hoffman’s teeth without any pain****er. Yeouch!

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6. Doc Holliday (Tombstone)

Now, no one’s arguing that a visit to Doc Holliday wouldn’t be cool. As played by Val Kilmer in the kick-ass modern western Tombstone, Holliday is a heavy smoking, hard drinking, gambling badass who cracks the best jokes, gets the hottest women, and generally spends his day being the most awesome guy in the room. Unfortunately for anyone with a toothache, Holliday is also a dentist. Well, a sometimes dentist. He mostly makes his living playing cards and shooting people, only turning to dentistry when his poker luck runs dry. In the movie, he never once puts his hands into anyone’s mouth. At least not for dental purposes. And lucky for them. You see, besides being a man of many appetites, Holliday also suffers from tuberculosis, a highly contagious fatal disease that causes its victims to cough uncontrollably. Even in the Old West where most people’s understanding of science was limited to “vampires hate garlic,” people had sense enough to avoid seeing a dentist who frequently erupted into uncontrollable fits of coughing. No matter how charming he was.