Exclusive: Sanjay Gupta to remake Avatar in Hindi

[bholus10]

After the massive success of James Cameron's latest offing, 'Avatar', several Bollywood producers/directors are desperately trying to buy the remake rights. The Bhatt brothers (Mahesh & Mukesh), Boney Kapoor, Subhash Ghai are camping in LA, but finally after a week of long negotiations, we hear, our very own copy cat Sanjay ‘DVD’ Gupta has successfully managed to crack the exclusive deal for the remake of ‘Avatar’.

We were lucky to get a first hand quote from the great, media shy Sanjay Gupta himself... He bawled on the phone from LA, "Principally the deal is done. I am yet to sign on the dotted line, Cameron Sahab is busy promoting his films. He is visiting Mc Donalds, CCD, Pizza Hut and several such places to promote his film. I hope to sign the deal in the next 10-12 days." Our Hollywood reporter, ChiefBrutus managed to sneak in more questions to a busy Gupta… Over to the man himself…

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[bholus10]

Sanjay G, will you be modifying the story to suit the Indian audience?
"Ofcoz, I will have to... But that will take sometime. I have already thought of the story. I am waiting for the DVD launch to happen. Only then my screenplay writing will start.

Can you tell us something about this movie… The Hindi version?
Sure I will, but wait for the DVD release of the film. Mine will be an original film.

Have you decided on the director for this magnum opus?
Ofcoz, I, myself will direct this film. Only I can do justice to it. Once the original DVD is out in market, directing this will not be tough.

Have you finalized the cast for 'Avatar in Hindi'?
Yes I have. But will reveal it at the right time.

Will you please share more details?
I am so sorry. It’s too early to talk about this at this moment. But I will surely call for a press conference and announce the cast.

[bholus10]

Will it be called ‘Avatar in Hindi’?
No, Avatar in Hindi is just a working title. I have code named the film Project 776. I have two brilliant titles to decide from… First, ‘Sanjay Gupta's Avtaar’ and second ‘Avtaar - The Mask’. It's a tough decision.

We are sure you must be having someone in mind for this film...Can you atleast tell us who have you thought of?
Hmm... tricky one.. you guys are impossible... anyways. I will give you more information. But PLEASE… DON'T write anything about this till my film goes on floor. This is just and just for your ears only. Make sure no one is around you (whispers on the phone).

Sure sir. Not to worry, we will not print anything about this... Mother Promise.
Ok.. before I begin, I have to tell you. I always wanted to make a sequel of Rajesh Khannaji's film Avtaar. I wanted to feature Avtaar Gill in the lead. But somehow, it didn't work out with Avtaar Gill Ji... He refused to wear a wig. So I had no choice but to


shelve the project. I will start my film with 43 slides, thanking all 23 media partners and 20 banks who are ready to finance me. This movie will be the costliest movie ever made in Bollywood. My film ‘Avatar in Hindi’ will start


where the old Avtaar (1983) ended. Avtaar Krishen is a happy man now. He divorced his wife Radha and has married Kaushalya. He lives in his farm house with Kaushalya and her two sons. (Kaushalya is a divorcee... She had to divorce her husband as he had very bad gas problem)

[bholus10]

One day Avtaar Krishen is happily ploughing his farm using his tractor… Now here I will show the beauty of Indian Khets (farms) and the opening song. The title credits will roll with the song. When the song ends the tractor stops. Avtaar is confused... why has his tractor stopped? He gets down and tries to push it and attempts to jumpstart the tractor. But the tractor is too heavy to be pushed... without realizing this he pushes it with full strength (background loud music) and he gets a heart attack. He collapses in the khet.

Cut to inside Avtaar Krishen's residence. Kaushalya is busy watching Bigg Boss and is sipping Nescafe (I have provided ample branding scope). Ramu Kaka enters and informs Kaushalya about Avtaar Krishen ji's death. Camera pans on Kaushalya and...... NAHIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN YEH NNYAAII NAHIII HAI!

Camera freeze frame and credit title rolls… Rakhi Sawant as Kaushalya.
Kaushalya has a tough life ahead. She has to raise her two sons, Anmol and Ratan all by herself. She starts dancing in dance bars. at this point, there is an item number by Rakhi Sawant.

Cut to 20 years later.... Anmol and Ratan are two strong, young and dashing hunks. And here I break the suspense credit rolls … reintroducing Aftab Shivdasani (Anmol)… Dino Morea (Ratan) who return from work, eager to meet their mom and give her their pehli kamaai...

When they are about to enter their house, there is a mad dog waiting outside. He pounces and bites Anmol very badly. Ratan pelts stones and scares away the dog and lifts his brother and rushes inside. Doctor comes and says Anmol is bitten by a very dangerous, mad dog and he will need 14 injections. Unfortunately Kaushalya has money that can buy only 13 injections. Anmol dies, just because Kaushalya couldn't afford the 14th injection.

Song 3 - A sad song showing how Kaushalya raised her two sons.

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[bholus10]

After a month long research finally Ratan gets to know the whereabouts of the mad dog. The dog is from a place called 'Dhindora'. This place has only dogs. These dogs are made up of Human and Dog DNA. Dhindora is 17 kms ahead of Vasai.



He promises Kaushalya that he will go to 'Dhindora' live with DOGS and learn their language and avenge 'Anmol's death. Ratan hires a dog outfit and reaches Dhindora. There he finds the beautiful (Dia Mirza, in ***** dress) and instantly falls in love with her.

Dia agrees to teach the Dog Ratan everything about their dog community. (Vindu is also a part of the Dhindora tribe.. My makeup artist said he doesn't require any makeup. And he has placed an order for 221 pairs of white contact lenses for the Dhindora dogs. Ramsay Bros, one of our media partners will be providing us with the same).

So the story is a simple love story but will be told brilliantly. The film will go on floors post JC's Avatar's DVD release. And… Please... don't ask me any more questions. I can't reveal anything further, it’s classified.

Thank you so much Sanjay G
Sure, Mention not...


(The above interview is a spoof on how filmmaker Sanjay Gupta, known for his panache for remaking Hollywood films, will remake James Cameron’s Avatar. The article is written on a light note and has to be taken in the right spirit.)